One of the hardest things about leaving Ohio was that we knew we’d probably never get the chance to see our foster daughter again. That we would probably lose that chance to randomly bump into her at the grocery store or see her at a community event.
We actually had this happen once when we reconnected with one of our foster children at a community event in Ohio.
When you move away from the city where you fostered a child, you reduce the possibility of happenstance…the possibility to just randomly walk into someone.
With a past failed attempt at talking with our foster daughter, we thought all hope was lost. We were living life like we would never get to speak with her again.
This month was proving to be especially hard because it was her birthday in early June, so we were missing her a lot.
We decided to give it one more chance and ask if there was anything our foster daughter needed for her birthday. Her Grandma responded and gave us a list of ideas.
That text sparked a conversation and she said she wanted to talk to us that night.
When we called her, we asked how everything was going. We made small talk and eventually built to the big question, “Can we talk to her?”
We had been scared to ask that question for some time. As a foster parent, you are conditioned to not assume anything or get your hopes up. It was also scary to know the answer because if it was “no”, it would break our hearts again.
Much to our surprise, her Grandma said yes and put her on the phone.
This was the first time we had talked to our daughter in several months and quite honestly it was some of the best three minutes of my life.
Even though she had grown up a little, she still sounded the same and was just as sassy as when we had to let her go.
My heart melted and my pain went away. I couldn’t believe we were talking to her again, that we were hearing her voice. We had lived the last few months burying our feelings and thinking that we’d probably never get to hear her voice again.
Whenever we would miss her and wanted to hear her voice, we would sit in the car and watch videos of her, crying the entire time. It was so amazing to not have to do that this time to hear her voice.
After we were done talking to her, Grandma told us she wanted us to be in our foster daughter’s life. She wanted us to actually be involved and welcomed us to talk to her whenever we wanted. We were also invited to see her if we ever came to Ohio.
For the first time in several months I felt relief, because the hardest thing about this entire situation was not knowing. Not knowing what she was going to do with her life. Not knowing how she’d do in school. Not knowing where she was and what she was doing.
All of the suppressed emotions started bubbling up and we were finally able to move forward, to see a way through this. We finally began to have peace.
No, this situation isn’t perfect. This isn’t where we thought we’d be a year ago. Once again, life is unpredictable. Life is again leading us down a new path.
I don’t know where this new adventure will lead, but trust me I am excited about it.
Needless to say, we will probably be going back to Ohio a lot sooner than we planned.