When I was a mere teen of 15 years old, my Father died. It was a very confusing time in my life, not only because I witnessed someone I loved go through unbearable pain, but being that age has its own set of “crazy” emotions.
Now my Mom and I were always exceptionally close, I not only labored over the perfect Mother’s Day cards for her, but I also gave her Father’s Day cards. She was my everything. Since she passed 26 years ago, I say a prayer and let her know I’m thinking about her extra hard on the day made special for Moms. I do that on the day of my birth too. That was her birthing day. I send up a thank you and remind myself how blessed I was to have her even though things got tough for her and she needed a lot of my attention.
After she died, I kind of focused my love maternal on Della Skoug, my mother-in-law. I have told everyone for 40 years she has been the best mother-in-law any girl could have. So kind, loving, gave advice when asked, held her tongue I’m sure when I was perhaps doing something she was a bit skeptical of, adored our children and had long talks with me when I needed a “Mom’s ear”. I really fell in love with Della, my other Mother. Besides she gave birth to my husband for which I am very thankful. She even helped Rob throw me a surprise 17th birthday party at their home. I know! A very long time ago. That is how long I have known her.
Well, Della has now left too. She died on Rob’s birthday May 10, 2017, her Birthing Day of giving him life. That evil devil called Alzheimer’s disease took her memories and ability to function several years back. In recent weeks, the family found out she also had cancer. The deterioration of that beautiful, classy and precious woman was devastating to many. But for Rob and his sisters, our children and the other grandchildren and tiny great grandchildren, it has rocked their world. Being the next generation is really sobering. I have been at that status since I was 35, but I could pretend with my in-laws and siblings that I wasn’t quite there yet.
We knew she was going to go. Her struggle was fierce but then her body began to rest. The finality and the witnessing of her last breath about brought us both to our knees. Some people feel sad that she passed on Rob’s birthday, but he chooses to be thankful she did. He says they were together on that date when she brought him into the world and he feels honored to have been with her on that same date when she left. A sacred gift in his eyes.
Anyway, Mother’s Day felt a bit hollow this year. Didn’t search for the perfect Mother’s Day card for Della this year. Some years they were, “Thanks for putting up with me” or full of love and appreciation, but Della had a heck of a sense of humor and it was when he found the perfect comical gem that would thrill him because he would hear his Mom laugh so hard. He really loved hearing his Mom’s laugh and making her not able to stop giggle. Both his sisters have the same giggle. That is a very good thing.
In loving memory of Della Skoug, Mother-in law extraordinaire.
Until next time…