The best way to control unknown future events is superstition. When the Better Half watches the Packers play, they lose. If the Better Half is not watching and the Packers still lose then it must be someone else’s fault.
Take the latest Packers loss. Authorities traced the defeat to lifetime fan, Klondike Q. Fosdick. Just before kickoff, Fosdick searched frantically but couldn’t find his lucky cap—a one-of-a-kind-only-half-million-sold cap with “Go Pack Go” stitched on the front and Brett Favre’s genuine fake signature on the cap bill.
Worse, he blew the lucky chant by forgetting the critical third “Bunga” in “Bunga, Bunga, Bunga, Go Pack Go!”
Superstition explains the unexplainable. A witness tells the cop he watched the car swerve to the right, leave the road and hurdle airborne over the cliff. “Any idea why?” the cop asks. “Yep,” says the witness. “A black cat ran in front of the car and the driver knew if he didn’t miss the cat, he was in for some serious bad luck.”
The driver’s wife, now widow, pipes in: “This crash makes no sense. Felix was an Aquarius. His horoscope said his life was going to be taking off and he’d be soaring.”