Beware the trauma of gift giving and getting.

Researchers find newlyweds prefer registered gifts to unregistered gifts. Recently, newlyweds Harvey and Mildred are unpleasantly surprised to receive a mauve and lavender gravy bowl shaped like a stuffed warthog. It is so ugly, Goodwill won’t take it.

Gift cards get a bad rap. For his sister’s silver jubilee wedding anniversary, Cletus bought gift cards on a two-for-one sale at Buffalo Bob’s Burger Emporium and Bait Shop. A month later, his sister calls to complain that Buffalo Bob’s went out of business. This is bad news for Cletus. Now his gift card is worthless, too.

An expensively tasteless carving set is slashed an additional 90 percent off the 80 percent discounted price. A great gift for someone. What could possibly go wrong?

You hated getting socks as a kid. You hate getting socks as an adult. You’re still getting socks for gifts but you still can’t tell mother.

For that special someone, try the gift package of acne cream, a variety pack of deodorant and a gift certificate for a body wax. Nothing says “I love you” better than a gift that says you reek, you’re hairy, and the zits have got to go.