It isn’t a Bible, but there’s plenty of wisdom in the notebook Michael J. Rouse keeps on his desk. There’s even more wisdom in the stacks of notebooks stashed in cabinets in his office at ESF Inc., the Philadelphia-area company he and his brother started that operates 63 different camps for thousands of campers in locations in six states.
So what’s the wisdom? Notes that Rouse has taken after conversations with the many people he counts as mentors, a star-studded lineup of experts in philanthropy, business, psychology and sports. Lots of people talk about having mentors, but Rouse has turned it into an art form and he has deliberate strategies to keep his mentors engaged.
Rouse considers Jack Welch a mentor, along with Larry Bossidy, the former chief executive of Allied Signal, later Honeywell. His list includes Pat Croce, Martin Steele, a three-star Marine Corps general, and Jim Loehr, the noted performance psychologist and author of the book, “The Power of Engagement.”
I asked him how he works with mentors.
He began by telling me how he first met Jim Loehr, who now serves as a consultant for ESF.
“I used to play tennis and ice hockey, and tennis was my sport that I played throughout my college years. And, I went to nationals when I was 14 and I was down at the Orange Bowl in Miami playing. I was one of these kids, 14 years old, under the tent with another 100 kids my same age listening to Dr. Jim Loehr speak about mental toughness, and focus. So, he said a few things in this speech that I actually used when I went to play, and I never forgot them.”
Q: Like what?
A: Focus on the tennis ball. Try to read the words on the tennis ball, if it’s Wilson or Spaulding, and try to envision the ball when it’s coming to you like it’s almost a basketball, because you’re envisioning it. And, obviously, by focusing on the ball when it’s coming to you, you’re not thinking about other things. You’re trying to read and see the stripes on the ball and the way it’s structured, and it really helps you make impact with the ball so that you actually hit a lot better and it helps you stay focused in the moment, versus thinking about a million different things. And that simple tip helped me upset one of the seeds, one of the ranked guys internationally, and I never forgot it.
Q: You used it that day?
A: Absolutely. I’m like a sponge. So, when I learn, I’m always in the self-development mode. So, whenever I hear something from someone, whether it’s a young person at my camps or a parent or a subject matter expert that we have, I just take it all in. So, Jim was somebody I never forgot.
Years later, he ended up coaching professional (tennis) athletes — the number one players in the world and I kind of followed him.
Then, I hadn’t really read anything about him. I didn’t hear anything about him. Then, suddenly, I heard that he had a place called The Human Performance Institute. Somebody told me he was working not only with athletes, but also executives. When somebody told me this, I thought, ‘Wait, I thought he passed away. I haven’t heard about this guy.’ So, I ended up going down for a day and a half program, which I attended, which was just about human performance.
Q: You took some of your fellow business leaders with you. Was it life-changing in any way for them or you?
A: A number of people got very serious with their nutrition. A lot of them got very serious in the balance in their life. A lot of them got serious with focus: Trying to define what you love to do, versus what you have to do, finding that passion. So, afterwards I went up to him and said, ‘Would you ever want to do this with me for kids?’ At that moment, he said, ‘For kids, absolutely. So, we exchanged contact information.’
Q: Tell me how you came to attach so much importance to mentors.
A: It started with my father who, I think, was just such a great mentor to me. He always had something to share, but never said, ‘You must do this, you must do that.’ He allowed me to do it on my own by creating some empowerment, allowing me to enjoy my sports without having to be there watching every practice, and going to every game. He always had this famous line: ‘We’ll be there in spirit.’ He was busy. He was a workaholic. So, I didn’t care about it whether my parents were coming or not. I got rides and I really learned how to appreciate that sport that I was playing. I, actually, wanted to do it myself, versus having them do that. And so, that mentorship started with my father. Then over the course of time, through whether it be a coach that I had, or a teacher, I just started to, again, be that sponge to absorb people in my life with things that they had to offer. So, an early mentor of mine was Pat Croce (the former Sixers physical therapist and sports personality.)
Q: Knowing Pat Croce, I can see how you two would get along.
A: I had a wrist injury at age 15 and he was a young sports physical therapist at the time. I was introduced to him through my grandfather who was a surgeon and his mother who was a great nurse. They knew each other. I had three doctors back then that said I need to get surgery. So, my grandpa said, ‘Before you do that, there’s this young guy who is a trainer. You should talk to him.’ So, I went to him and I said, ‘What do you think?’ He said, ‘Can you tolerate pain?’ I said, ‘I think so.’ He said, ‘Then you don’t need to get cut and I’m going to help you break through this pain.’
So, he became a mentor of mine, because he then would bring me to workouts early in the morning and I’d show up. He’d pick me up and here I’d walk in and there was Julius Erving, Mike Schmidt, Bobby Clarke on a treadmill, on a rower, on a bike. And, we would all train together. Here I am this 15-year-old who was looking up to the heroes of sports in Philadelphia. Here Pat Croce was treating me as just another guy who’s here to workout. So, that began these relationships where I really learned so much from people like him.
Q: So, back to this question of maintaining your mentor.
A: You can’t just have one, in my opinion.
It’s good to have a number. Remember, these aren’t people that you have to pay for. These are people that you ask, ‘Would you be open to me asking you a number of questions about how you got to where you were.’ Then it usually evolves from there.
Q: They’ve become engaged because you’ve taken their advice.
A: They’ve become engaged because, first of all, they’ve made it. They’re winners in their own right. They probably got to that same place because somebody did it for them in the same way of mentoring and coaching. So, they’re paying it forward in some cases. I think there’s the engagement, because I’ve said, ‘I’ve learned something from you. I’d like for you to know what I’ve learned from you, and would you be willing to kind of share with me some other things that you do so well.’ So, that’s kind of how it begins.
Q: The fact that you specifically can describe what you’ve learned, does that encourage them?
A: Absolutely. I think it makes them realize that, first of all, they impacted your life, and what they shared with me was impactful, and that’s the key.