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Jim Naugler: Everything in moderation

Jim Naugler: Everything in moderation

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Jim Naugler

Jim Naugler

This obit is a “rags to roadkill” story.

Harvey “the” Skunk died unexpectedly when he suffered a crushing injury from an oncoming 18-wheeler on highway 21.

Growing up dirt-poor in a hollow log, Harvey still graduated with a master’s degree in “Odor Management.”

After graduation, Harvey served two years in the legislature as a Skunk party representative. In a polarized, narrowly divided chamber between the Skunks and the Weasels, Harvey Skunk was greeted as a “breath of fresh air.”

Given the intense animus between the skunks and weasels, moderates were branded “roadkill.” Nevertheless, passing legislation required bipartisanship.

A diehard moderate, Harvey successfully spearheaded a bipartisan campaign pressuring the USDA to accelerate field tests of a safe Canadian rabies vaccine.

According to reliable rumor, vaccine development involved a randomized study of 30,000 skunks.

Famously, Harvey almost single-handedly quelled a riotous debate over personal hygiene as angry legislators grabbed gas masks and bulletproof vests: He reminded the skunks and weasels they were cousins from the same family.

A fact check debunked Harvey’s claim. Molecular analysis shows skunks and weasels are from different families. Fortunately, only mindless ferrets believe factcheckers.

At age five, Harvey died an old but great skunk. He’ll be missed.

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