Jim Naugler
This obit is a “rags to roadkill” story.
Harvey “the” Skunk died unexpectedly when he suffered a crushing injury from an oncoming 18-wheeler on highway 21.
Growing up dirt-poor in a hollow log, Harvey still graduated with a master’s degree in “Odor Management.”
After graduation, Harvey served two years in the legislature as a Skunk party representative. In a polarized, narrowly divided chamber between the Skunks and the Weasels, Harvey Skunk was greeted as a “breath of fresh air.”
Given the intense animus between the skunks and weasels, moderates were branded “roadkill.” Nevertheless, passing legislation required bipartisanship.
A diehard moderate, Harvey successfully spearheaded a bipartisan campaign pressuring the USDA to accelerate field tests of a safe Canadian rabies vaccine.
According to reliable rumor, vaccine development involved a randomized study of 30,000 skunks.
Famously, Harvey almost single-handedly quelled a riotous debate over personal hygiene as angry legislators grabbed gas masks and bulletproof vests: He reminded the skunks and weasels they were cousins from the same family.
A fact check debunked Harvey’s claim. Molecular analysis shows skunks and weasels are from different families. Fortunately, only mindless ferrets believe factcheckers.
