Jim Naugler: Taking a selfie with big critters? No bull
A BIT OF HUMOR

Jim Naugler: Taking a selfie with big critters? No bull

  • 0
{{featured_button_text}}
Jim Naugler

Jim Naugler

Everybody talks about the Wild West but nobody talks about the Wild Midwest.

The Wild West has bears, wolves and bison; the Wild Midwest has bears, wolves and bulls.

Stories abound of docile-looking bison in Yellowstone Park launching tourists taking a selfie only inches from the bison’s face.

After re-entering earth’s atmosphere, tourists plummeting to ground zero invariably crash-land on a park sign warning visitors not to take “bison selfies.”

A tourist trampled by a bison or savaged by a charging grizzly while taking a selfie is a guaranteed Darwin Award nominee.

The Darwin Award, named after Dick Darwin from Poughkeepsie, recognizes individuals who self-select themselves out of the gene pool by dying from their own stupidity.

Not to be confused with the clueless tourist, the farmer and his life are soon parted if the farmer forgets a bull is badder than a bison.

Cutesy names don’t help. A bull named Sue is actually more dangerous than a bull named Brutus. The only name a bull hates more than Sue is Chuck Steak.

Since 2000, bulls killed 19 farmers — the majority of whom were older than 60.

Farmers universally rate “bull untimely ends career” the least popular early retirement program.

0
0
0
0
0

Be the first to know

* I understand and agree that registration on or use of this site constitutes agreement to its user agreement and privacy policy.

Related to this story

Most Popular

When a fresh news poll finds that a majority of Republicans believe that Donald Trump is a better president than Abraham Lincoln was, what's an old-school, never-Trump Republican to do? For Rick Wilson, it's more of the same, with even more fire and fury - talking on television, and writing another book. The new one, "Running Against the Devil," is out next month, and in it, the veteran GOP ...

Get up-to-the-minute news sent straight to your device.

Topics

News Alerts

Breaking News