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Jim Naugler: "Where am I' and other top computer searches

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Jim Naugler

jim Naugler 

We live in a world of silent surveillance by search engines and social media.

Your computer remembers everything: personal preferences, biases, viewing habits, reading habits and relationships.

Your computer hates you.

Computer whisperer, Harvey Milkweed, explains the computer’s first thoughts when answering the top 10 most asked questions over the past two years.

At number six and asked 1.2 million times, “Where am I?”

Computer’s first thought: “Let me guess, lost but not in paradise.”

Just behind at number seven, “How many weeks in a year?”

Computer’s first thought: “365.” (A bit of computer humor, here.)

At number four, the most asked question is, “What is love?”

Computer’s first thought: “Three marriages, six kids, two mortgages and now you’re asking?”

Slipping in at number 10, “Who called me?”

Computer’s first thought: “Someone called you? Really?”

At number one, asked five million times, “When are the NBA playoffs?”

Computer’s first thought: “Once a year.”

The Angry Computer does confuse song titles from most asked questions:

Song title: “Where is my mind?

Angry Computer: At lost but not found.

The real problem? Computers can’t tell a song title from a question; can’t think or hate but humans using our computer information can.


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